Pin the tail on the Eyore

This week I've been a little too "Eyore-esque."  You know..."Thanks for noticing me..."

I've received some very bad news, and this news, along with my overburdened schedule, had me feeling pretty down-in-the-dumpsy.

In the midst of all of this, I attended a meeting of local mobilizers (folks who are part of full time global ministries in our area), and sat next to a local legend.  She and her husband have lived all over the place, and her husband is a speaker on the Perspectives circuit.  I'd never met the wife, but her husband was the speaker at the meeting, and I just happened to sit by her.  This family has very recently moved to our town, and so we chatted about what the move was like, among other things.  She was honest about it all, and I immediately liked her.  I just love people who take you seriously when you ask them a question about how they're doing.  Drives me nuts when people just say, "Fine," or "Busy," or even "Blessed!"  I don't ask the question if I don't really want to know...and it bothers me that we all put up these walls.

So we decided to have lunch, and that lunch was yesterday.  For two hours we ate and talked and ate some more.  I walked in with my own personal rain cloud, but I walked out practically beaming.  What did she say that changed my view so radically.  Well, let me tell you, she shared her life with me.  She talked about difficult things that are hard to hear, and I shared the same with her.

This kind of communication is what my spirit feeds on.  By sharing our real lives, not the pretty little "Ain't nobody got time for this" lives, I was reminded of all God has brought me through.  I was able to hear her story and know, without a doubt, He will carry her through it, too.  I could practically see our hearts holding hands over the table, and hear God saying, "I am faithful."  If there is a better way to spend a lunch hour, I can't possibly imagine it.

So even though my life is INSANE right now, I will continue to make decisions that allow me to build relationships.  I have to.  Without it, I shrivel up, grab my little rain cloud, stick on my fake tail and droop through the 100 acre wood.

Thank you, Father, for honest friends.  Thank you for everything you've brought me and will bring us through.  Thank you for making us need each other.  And Father, in the name of your son, Jesus, I denounce the demon of American Busyness and refuse to let it control my life for one second longer!

AMEN!

Sometimes I Need a Jumping Percussion Guy

We sang this in worship yesterday.  While I did miss the jumping percussion guy (I was promised they would work on it for next time),  it was just what I needed.  Right now I am feeling more than just a little weighed down.  There are so many circumstances trying to steal my joy and my hope, and I just want to rest in my Daddy's lap for a while.  This song helps recharge my batteries and rev my engine.  Well...this song plus a lot of Scripture.  Today, as I succumb to the tears I can't swallow down any longer, I listen to this song, read my letters from Dad, and remember that sometimes the bravest thing I can do is hope.

Ecc 8:6 Indeed, there is an appropriate time and a response for every circumstance, since human misery weighs heavily upon him.
Ps 27:14 Wait with hope for the LORD. Be strong, and let your heart be courageous. Yes, wait with hope for the LORD.
Psalm 37 - the whole thing
Psalm 94:19 When the cares of my heart are many, your consolations cheer my soul.
Romans 15:13 I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.

Come set Your rule and reign
In our hearts again
Increase in us we pray
Unveil why we're made
Come set our hearts ablaze with hope
Like wildfire in our very souls
Holy Spirit come invade us now
We are Your Church
We need Your power
In us

We seek Your kingdom first
We hunger and we thirst
Refuse to waste our lives
For You're our joy and prize
To see the captive hearts released
The hurt; the sick; the poor at peace
We lay down our lives for Heaven's cause
We are Your church
We pray revive
This Earth

Build Your kingdom here
Let the darkness fear
Show Your mighty hand
Heal our streets and land
Set Your church on fire
Win this nation back
Change the atmosphere
Build Your kingdom here
We pray

Unleash Your kingdom's power
Reaching the near and far
No force of hell can stop
Your beauty changing hearts
You made us for much more than this
Awake the kingdom seed in us
Fill us with the strength and love of Christ
We are Your church
We are the hope 
On Earth

My Treasure

Today my sweet hubby and I celebrate 22 years of marital bliss (well, more like 21 years of bliss and a cumulative total of one year of *#%@*).  On my facebook status I shared our "secrets" for staying married in a culture that doesn't really value commitment.

I was trying to figure out how to explain, in one simple sentence, what Rick and I have.  I thought about our marriage, our relationship, our family, our faith, our communication, our fun...I thought about a lot of things that are part of us.  When it all comes down to it, however, the bottom line is that Rick Hall is my earthly treasure.  HE is what is special to me.  Rick Hall, the person, is worth more to me than anything else on this planet.  Our relationship is good.  Our marriage is great. Our family is wonderful.  But what matters most to me is the person of Rick Hall.  He's it.

As I pondered this, I took a second to thank Jesus for the man that is Rick Hall, when it occurred to me....Isn't that how I need to think of Jesus?  M faith is of consequence. My relationship with the Father is nice.  My worship is important.  My prayers are special.  But my universal TREASURE is the persons in the God head.  The Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit...THEY are IT.

Once again, the picture of the church as the bride of Christ is just so perfect.  When I'm tempted to think that my relationship with Jesus, or my worship, or my communication with Him are where its all at...I need to remember how I feel about my husband.  HE is what matters.  HE is what is special.  HE is my everything.  

Oh...and here is my list of "secrets."  I hope and pray that my children (and each of you) get to enjoy spending life with your earthly and universal treasures : )

1. Marry your FRIEND

2. Let Jesus take the wheel while your spouse takes your hand (don't confuse those roles)

3. Laugh...a lot!

4. Kiss good morning and good night and happy 9:00 a.m. and good lunch time and....Kiss...a lot!

5. Figure out how the other person likes to communicate (hours of quiet contemplation before they speak or verbal diarrhea to process their emotions), and then respect that!

6. Respect your spouse...a lot

7. Don't ever, ever, ever talk bad about your spouse, even when everyone else is dishing the dirt on theirs. Honor your husband or wife...a lot.

8. (PG 13) When you're "with" your spouse, be "WITH" your spouse. Really BE there.

9. Say you're sorry, and mean it. Ask for forgiveness, be willing to wait for it, and accept it when it's offered. Then DON'T DO THAT THING AGAIN! When forgiveness is requested of you, remember mercy, and freely offer it fully, with no reservation.

10. And in case you missed it...Jesus is in charge. He's got it under control. Its not your spouse's job to give you a happy, comfortable life. Their only job is to love you as best they can, and stay by your side in the good times and bad. (that's what the vows say...just remember it)

Holy Week

I have so much on my mind and heart lately.  I feel as if I'm not just in a valley, but I'm actually under the mountain.  Never before has Matthew 17:20 been quite so poignant.  Because God chose me, I have faith.  Right now, it is frail and is probably as small as a mustard seed, but Matthew 17:20 says that faith is enough to move the mountain I feel bearing down on me.

This is Holy Week.  It is the week we remember that Christ shared His last supper with and said goodbye to His closest friends.  He wept and prayed until He bled in the garden.  He was betrayed by His friend and falsely accused by His enemies.  He was humiliated, beaten and spit upon by those people He came to redeem. He felt the weight of every sin ever committed, past present and future, on His shoulders as He was brutally killed.  He was separated from His Father.

Is there any mountain in my life, even a mountain sitting directly upon my chest, that can compare to that?  Is there any pain I endure, be it emotional or physical, that Christ didn't endure for me?

But this is Holy Week.  It is also the week we remember that the veil between the Father and His children was torn forever. Jesus' follower came forward and asked for His body and laid Him in a family tomb.  Jesus defeated the only mountain no human could ever overcome. Women found an empty tomb and leftover burial cloths.  Gentile guards witnessed the ultimate power of a sovereign God.

The mountain in my life holds no power over me.  How do I move a mountain with a tiny bit of faith?  I remember Matthew 17:20.  I remember Colossians 1:15-23.  I remember Him and His hope....His incredible, beautiful, glorious, faithful, eternal, gracious hope.

Yes-No- Maybe So

There are certain moments in my life when I look around and say to myself (and God), "What the HECK?!!!!"

This week I was once again thinking about all that Jesus has done to get me to the point that I am willing to say YES to whatever God brings my way.  For the longest time, I know opportunities were presented, but I chose to say NO...or on a good day, I'd say MAYBE later.

Now, I find myself in this place where I want to say YES to everything...but there's this whole "time-space-continuum" thing holding me back.  For each of us there is the good, the better and the best.  Figuring out which is which is stinkin' hard!

Right now, in my life, I am the choir booster president for my daughter's class.  That's good.  I'm the coordinator for a Perspectives class.  That's better.  But for us, I think the international student ministry we're part of is the best at this point in life.

I'm in this horrible spot of having to choose to give up the good and the better to be fully engaged in the best.  This is SO tough!!!  I want to do it all.

The good news is, my daughter graduates this year, so giving up choir boosters will be expected and really easy.

Giving up Perspectives is really difficult, though.  I just love that class, and I just love the students.  But that time-space thing keeps getting in my way.  All the time and labor intensive moments of coordinating and planning a Perspectives class happen to hit at the exact same times that new international students are arriving on campus.  I can't really be fully involved with the students...going to orientation events, helping them find housing, taking them to Wal-Mart and thrift stores to furnish their new places, hosting their first meals in an American home...when I also have so much Perspectives responsibilities at the same time.

Never once, in all of my Christian life, did it occur to me that saying YES to God would be the easy part, and saying NO to a ministry would be so difficult.  MAYBE I need to realize that God is perfectly capable of raising up another servant to say YES to Perspectives, SO I can focus on these students...

Like I've said in the past, there's almost always a song playing in my head.  For some reason, this one keeps coming to mind as I try to figure out when to say YES and when to say NO.  (hopefully you'll recognize that my mind doesn't always come up with perfectly Godly songs that deal with the issues ideally. Nope, sometimes there's just one line in a song that seems to fit, and my brain goes with it ; )

Wuv...Twue Wuv

Yesterday I stopped into a local pawn shop to see what sorts of deals I could find on some items.  While I was looking around, I spotted the jewelry display case that was practically overflowing with engagement and wedding rings.  How sad.  Sitting there amidst the only building in NWA that smells smokier than a single's bar were the pathetic, shiny remnants of failed relationships.

It made me wonder, why are Rick and I still together?  We have been through some MAJOR crap, let me tell you.  The details don't really matter, but suffice it to say our marriage has taken some pretty major hits.  Somehow, our love has grown stronger when others would have called it quits.

In all honesty, it really has more to do with Jesus than anything we've done, but I thought I might try to explain how I feel about this man that I share my life with.

First and foremost, when I met Rick Hall, I knew he was not my type.  Oh sure, he's devastatingly handsome, but he had no tattoos, his jacket was not leather, and his vehicle had not only four wheels but four doors as well!  Rick Hall was the quintessential yuppie, and I...was not.  Still, there was something about him that made me stop and think, "That is a good man."  I made the decision to get to know him better, even though there weren't "fireworks" at first.  (Trust me, fireworks that take a little more time to set up...those are worth waiting for!)  

Each time we've hit a major obstacle in our marital bliss, we've made the decision to look to God for the solution, and to cling to each other for mutual support.  Jesus is the only answer, but He gave me this sweet man to walk through this life with.  When everything hits the fan, Rick takes my hand while Jesus takes the wheel.  I do my very best not to expect anything else.

Probably the very best thing about our marriage is the laughter.  This may come as a shock, but sometimes...every so often....the fireworks show is just too stinking exhausting to even think about!  Its during those times, when the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak, that a good laugh is all it takes to realign the planets and bring balance to the universe again.  No one can make me laugh like this quiet man can.  After 23 years together, there are a BUNCH of inside jokes, too.  When life wears us out, we make the decision to tickle each other's funny bones, instead of the "other" tickling...

I don't know the stories behind each of those rings in that smoky pawn shop, but I do know that the ring on my finger, that's been resized a couple of times, that doesn't get polished all that often, that sometimes sits in the jewelry box so it won't get in the way...that ring is on my finger because every day I make the decision to love my husband, and he decides to love me.  Warts and all : )

Minor Adjustments

Recently I helped teach our 16 year old daughter to drive..including how to park.  At our house, there are three cars that park side-by-side in a relatively small space.  Teaching her how to wedge a car between two other vehicles took patience and lots of backing up, straightening up, and trying again.

Last week, I applied that same concept to my attitude.  In my last post, I whined on and on about "my" plans for "my" time and "my" finances.  Then, on Thursday night, Todd Ahrend spoke to our Perspectives on the World Christian Movement group about God's mandate for His children.  My goal isn't to accomplish my plans for His kingdom.  No, my purpose is to be open to HIS plans...whatever those may be.

So, I backed up, straightened up, and I'm trying again.  Today, I want to say to God, "Anything, Any time, Anywhere."

In my very finite mind, I think that selling that house will give me the freedom to say that to God.  The truth is, I can say it right now, this very moment, regardless of my financial situation.