Trusting the Engineer

A few months ago we were approached by another ministry that offered to purchase our house so that we could be free to purchase the ISCA house.  To be sure, Rick and I had firmly decided we never wanted to own another home.  We planned to rent for the rest of our earthly existence so as to be able to drop everything and say "yes" to God, regardless of where or when He called.  However, when the other ministry made this offer, we prayed and talked, and were fairly certain this was an answer to our prayers.

Curve Ball Alert...

After appraisals and discussions and negotiations and other such real estate stuff, the other ministry decided they just couldn't make the numbers work and the offer was taken off the table.  It happens.

And yet...here we are, left asking the question, "Does God want us to buy ISCA house?  Does He want us to be all in with International Student Ministry?"  We can't deny what we truly believe He was saying at the time we decided to walk down this road.

At this point, we've dropped the price on our house in an effort to sell it on our own.  (If you know anyone looking in the Fayetteville, AR area, please point them my way!)  It is still our goal to buy ISCA house.  It is still our desire to be a part of sharing Christ and discipling global students on the UofA campus.

Everything in me wants to "do" something to fix this "problem."  I want to hire someone, buy something, call somebody, promote, work, accomplish...  I want to fix it and make everything comfortable for us.

But that is not what God wants.  He wants me to trust Him.  So, I will be still and cling to this verse, knowing that He wants us to be part of taking His name to every nation and exalting Him in all the earth...and that HE alone is God:

Psalm 46:10 - He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
    I will be exalted among the nations,
    I will be exalted in the earth.”
I saw this picture on Facebook today.  It was very timely and appropriate as my dear hubby works for the local railroad.  I think I need to plaster this on a wall (or my forehead!) to remind me that God is in control, even when I'm in a tunnel and I can't see a darned thing!  Be still....

Go South Young Woman

This has been an insane couple of weeks!  It started with us putting four girls on airplanes that took them back to their home countries.  I was quite surprised by how hard that hit me.

Then, all my kids worked in the yard and cooked me a delish meal on Mother's Day.  This was followed by my birthday the next day, including my very last high school booster club meeting.

Next came my son's big proposal to his girlfriend.  Yep, he put a ring on it!  So exciting!!!!

Not to be outdone, our youngest child then graduated from high school, along with our other son's girlfriend.

Our final daughter felt left out, so she decided to turn 21 in the midst of this crazy week.

And finally, our youngest and I got on an airplane to Honduras.

Which brings me to the subject of this blog: leaving your baby in a scary place.

Did you know that Honduras has one of the highest murder rates in the world?  Well, I know it, but I wish I didn't.  Apparently the drug wars  have worked...most of the drug traffic has been rerouted through Honduras now, and along with it the crime and greed.  Yay.

I've been through sending my son to Iraq with the Army.  I've been through sending my son to the red light district of Thailand.  Those were scary as well, to be sure.  You'd think I'd be used to this by now.  There's just something different about sending your youngest baby away that's a little, well, terrifying.

God is good, though.  At this point in my life, my greatest goal is to live in such a way that I hold nothing back from my Father...even my children.  Our baby is in Honduras to serve in the name of Christ and to learn as much about Him through the Honduran people as she possibly can.  I've learned that the safest place to be is smack dab in the middle of His will, so I know she will be okay.

It is my prayer that her comfort zone will be busted wide open; that she will have nowhere to turn but His arms and His Word.  I suppose its kinda crazy to want your child to be uncomfortable, but since when has the Christian life made sense?

This week I read a book by Francis Chan, "Crazy Love."  One of my favorite sentences in this work went like this, "Something is wrong when our lives make sense to unbelievers."  Amen.  I pray that my life, and the lives of my children, make absolutely no sense whatsoever!  I pray they are a testimony to trust in a loving Father who alone is worthy of our everything!

So...here's the song stuck in my head now.  Imagine a room filled with Honduran youth and American adults all jumping up and down screaming this song to Jesus...the Holy Spirit is on fire in that ministry center on Sunday evenings!!!!  (And the girl, Dana, reminds me so much of our sweet Ana!!!)

Sex, Lies and Purity Legalists.

Recently I read an article about some of the negative side effects of the Christian purity culture.  It fascinated, disturbed, intrigued, infuriated, and saddened me.

We have taught all of our children since they were old enough to understand what it means to stay pure for their future spouse and for God.  When they were little, my husband and I would only kiss their cheeks, so they could "save their lips for their husband or wife."  We took this seriously, and we wanted our children to as well.

Did we do this because we were pure and holy?  Not at all.  I mean...I had a kid before I got married, and he was definitely not immaculately conceived.  No, we taught our children to remain sexually pure because we hoped they could avoid some of the heartache we experienced and the guilt associated with this particular sin.

However...

I do not think it was an accident that God the Father, when putting together the bloodline and family for His son, Jesus, chose Abraham, David, and Rahab.

Abraham - basically prostituted his wife, not once but twice.  He did nothing when kings took his wife into their harems, because Abraham had lied about her being his sister.  She was only saved from adultery because GOD saved her...not her husband.  I'd call that a sexual sin on Abraham's part.

David - Stalked another man's wife, took her, got her pregnant, then had the husband killed.  Serious sexual sin.

Rahab - an out and out hooker, prostitute, whore.

When Jesus was conceived, what did everyone think of Mary?  Joseph was so ashamed!  But God chose not to make a grand announcement to their entire village in order to clear Mary and Joseph's good name.  No, He only told the two of them.  They bore the brunt of the gossip and shame mongers.

When Jesus was on earth, what did He do when he came across public sexual sinners?  One of them He rescued from death, wrote in the sand and humbled those attempting to humiliate her.  On another occasion, He sat down beside her, shared eternal life giving water with her, and sent her on her way as a missionary to share the Good News with everyone she knew.  Yet another woman of ill-repute was allowed to annoint Him in front of the high and mighty, and He defended her against even the thoughts of those hypocrites.

Do I want my children to remain pure and to avoid the pain and guilt that often comes with giving away parts of your body and spirit?  Of course I do.  I would LOVE for them to never experience one single twinge of heartache when they are with their future spouse or if they never marry.  Do I believe that our Christian purity culture is adding to the shame we feel if we make a mistake?  Absolutely, I do.  Do I think God loves the broken hallelujah of a redeemed sinner just as much (if not more) than the puffed up chest of a holier-than-thou purity legalist.  You betcha!  There are no degrees of sin, and sexual sin has been forgiven by the Father just as much as that sin of pride displayed by many of those who "just said no."

Pin the tail on the Eyore

This week I've been a little too "Eyore-esque."  You know..."Thanks for noticing me..."

I've received some very bad news, and this news, along with my overburdened schedule, had me feeling pretty down-in-the-dumpsy.

In the midst of all of this, I attended a meeting of local mobilizers (folks who are part of full time global ministries in our area), and sat next to a local legend.  She and her husband have lived all over the place, and her husband is a speaker on the Perspectives circuit.  I'd never met the wife, but her husband was the speaker at the meeting, and I just happened to sit by her.  This family has very recently moved to our town, and so we chatted about what the move was like, among other things.  She was honest about it all, and I immediately liked her.  I just love people who take you seriously when you ask them a question about how they're doing.  Drives me nuts when people just say, "Fine," or "Busy," or even "Blessed!"  I don't ask the question if I don't really want to know...and it bothers me that we all put up these walls.

So we decided to have lunch, and that lunch was yesterday.  For two hours we ate and talked and ate some more.  I walked in with my own personal rain cloud, but I walked out practically beaming.  What did she say that changed my view so radically.  Well, let me tell you, she shared her life with me.  She talked about difficult things that are hard to hear, and I shared the same with her.

This kind of communication is what my spirit feeds on.  By sharing our real lives, not the pretty little "Ain't nobody got time for this" lives, I was reminded of all God has brought me through.  I was able to hear her story and know, without a doubt, He will carry her through it, too.  I could practically see our hearts holding hands over the table, and hear God saying, "I am faithful."  If there is a better way to spend a lunch hour, I can't possibly imagine it.

So even though my life is INSANE right now, I will continue to make decisions that allow me to build relationships.  I have to.  Without it, I shrivel up, grab my little rain cloud, stick on my fake tail and droop through the 100 acre wood.

Thank you, Father, for honest friends.  Thank you for everything you've brought me and will bring us through.  Thank you for making us need each other.  And Father, in the name of your son, Jesus, I denounce the demon of American Busyness and refuse to let it control my life for one second longer!

AMEN!

Sometimes I Need a Jumping Percussion Guy

We sang this in worship yesterday.  While I did miss the jumping percussion guy (I was promised they would work on it for next time),  it was just what I needed.  Right now I am feeling more than just a little weighed down.  There are so many circumstances trying to steal my joy and my hope, and I just want to rest in my Daddy's lap for a while.  This song helps recharge my batteries and rev my engine.  Well...this song plus a lot of Scripture.  Today, as I succumb to the tears I can't swallow down any longer, I listen to this song, read my letters from Dad, and remember that sometimes the bravest thing I can do is hope.

Ecc 8:6 Indeed, there is an appropriate time and a response for every circumstance, since human misery weighs heavily upon him.
Ps 27:14 Wait with hope for the LORD. Be strong, and let your heart be courageous. Yes, wait with hope for the LORD.
Psalm 37 - the whole thing
Psalm 94:19 When the cares of my heart are many, your consolations cheer my soul.
Romans 15:13 I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.

Come set Your rule and reign
In our hearts again
Increase in us we pray
Unveil why we're made
Come set our hearts ablaze with hope
Like wildfire in our very souls
Holy Spirit come invade us now
We are Your Church
We need Your power
In us

We seek Your kingdom first
We hunger and we thirst
Refuse to waste our lives
For You're our joy and prize
To see the captive hearts released
The hurt; the sick; the poor at peace
We lay down our lives for Heaven's cause
We are Your church
We pray revive
This Earth

Build Your kingdom here
Let the darkness fear
Show Your mighty hand
Heal our streets and land
Set Your church on fire
Win this nation back
Change the atmosphere
Build Your kingdom here
We pray

Unleash Your kingdom's power
Reaching the near and far
No force of hell can stop
Your beauty changing hearts
You made us for much more than this
Awake the kingdom seed in us
Fill us with the strength and love of Christ
We are Your church
We are the hope 
On Earth

My Treasure

Today my sweet hubby and I celebrate 22 years of marital bliss (well, more like 21 years of bliss and a cumulative total of one year of *#%@*).  On my facebook status I shared our "secrets" for staying married in a culture that doesn't really value commitment.

I was trying to figure out how to explain, in one simple sentence, what Rick and I have.  I thought about our marriage, our relationship, our family, our faith, our communication, our fun...I thought about a lot of things that are part of us.  When it all comes down to it, however, the bottom line is that Rick Hall is my earthly treasure.  HE is what is special to me.  Rick Hall, the person, is worth more to me than anything else on this planet.  Our relationship is good.  Our marriage is great. Our family is wonderful.  But what matters most to me is the person of Rick Hall.  He's it.

As I pondered this, I took a second to thank Jesus for the man that is Rick Hall, when it occurred to me....Isn't that how I need to think of Jesus?  M faith is of consequence. My relationship with the Father is nice.  My worship is important.  My prayers are special.  But my universal TREASURE is the persons in the God head.  The Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit...THEY are IT.

Once again, the picture of the church as the bride of Christ is just so perfect.  When I'm tempted to think that my relationship with Jesus, or my worship, or my communication with Him are where its all at...I need to remember how I feel about my husband.  HE is what matters.  HE is what is special.  HE is my everything.  

Oh...and here is my list of "secrets."  I hope and pray that my children (and each of you) get to enjoy spending life with your earthly and universal treasures : )

1. Marry your FRIEND

2. Let Jesus take the wheel while your spouse takes your hand (don't confuse those roles)

3. Laugh...a lot!

4. Kiss good morning and good night and happy 9:00 a.m. and good lunch time and....Kiss...a lot!

5. Figure out how the other person likes to communicate (hours of quiet contemplation before they speak or verbal diarrhea to process their emotions), and then respect that!

6. Respect your spouse...a lot

7. Don't ever, ever, ever talk bad about your spouse, even when everyone else is dishing the dirt on theirs. Honor your husband or wife...a lot.

8. (PG 13) When you're "with" your spouse, be "WITH" your spouse. Really BE there.

9. Say you're sorry, and mean it. Ask for forgiveness, be willing to wait for it, and accept it when it's offered. Then DON'T DO THAT THING AGAIN! When forgiveness is requested of you, remember mercy, and freely offer it fully, with no reservation.

10. And in case you missed it...Jesus is in charge. He's got it under control. Its not your spouse's job to give you a happy, comfortable life. Their only job is to love you as best they can, and stay by your side in the good times and bad. (that's what the vows say...just remember it)

Holy Week

I have so much on my mind and heart lately.  I feel as if I'm not just in a valley, but I'm actually under the mountain.  Never before has Matthew 17:20 been quite so poignant.  Because God chose me, I have faith.  Right now, it is frail and is probably as small as a mustard seed, but Matthew 17:20 says that faith is enough to move the mountain I feel bearing down on me.

This is Holy Week.  It is the week we remember that Christ shared His last supper with and said goodbye to His closest friends.  He wept and prayed until He bled in the garden.  He was betrayed by His friend and falsely accused by His enemies.  He was humiliated, beaten and spit upon by those people He came to redeem. He felt the weight of every sin ever committed, past present and future, on His shoulders as He was brutally killed.  He was separated from His Father.

Is there any mountain in my life, even a mountain sitting directly upon my chest, that can compare to that?  Is there any pain I endure, be it emotional or physical, that Christ didn't endure for me?

But this is Holy Week.  It is also the week we remember that the veil between the Father and His children was torn forever. Jesus' follower came forward and asked for His body and laid Him in a family tomb.  Jesus defeated the only mountain no human could ever overcome. Women found an empty tomb and leftover burial cloths.  Gentile guards witnessed the ultimate power of a sovereign God.

The mountain in my life holds no power over me.  How do I move a mountain with a tiny bit of faith?  I remember Matthew 17:20.  I remember Colossians 1:15-23.  I remember Him and His hope....His incredible, beautiful, glorious, faithful, eternal, gracious hope.