Fairy God-Mothers

Disclaimer:  I love my mother very much, and she loves me. 

I want to be sure I make that perfectly clear before I write this blog.  For those who don't know her or understand her life, what I say next might lead some to think her harsh or unkind.  That is simply not true.  

At the age of 21, I chose to leave the faith in which I was raised.  My mother and step-father are Jehovah's Witnesses.  They are happy to be such, but I was not.  At first I rebelled morally, which was extremely self-destructive.  Later, I was challenged to examine the faith of my biological father, and was surprised to discover that the true person of Jesus Christ was what I'd been looking for my entire life.  He filled the God-shaped hole in my heart like nothing and no one ever had or could.

By choosing to become a member of a church, I knew what I was doing to the relationship with my mother.  I would be disfellowshipped and considered an apostate.  I would be "the dog that returned to its vomit."  Jehovah's Witnesses shun those who choose to leave their fold and are allowed no contact whatsoever.  I was fully aware that by choosing Jesus Christ as God the Son I was drawing that line in the sand over which my mother could not cross.

I miss my mother very much, and I know she misses me.

However, God promised very clearly that He would honor this incredibly difficult decision; 

And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life.   Matthew 19:29

Today, as I prepared for a meeting held in my home on Thursday afternoons, I was reminded of one answer to that promise, Charlotte Kirk.  

My own mother was an incredible hostess.  She was an excellent example of how to show hospitality to guests, and we had a warm, welcoming home.  As a young person, however, I saw this as unwelcome work, and secretly  (and sometimes not so secretly) resented the effort that went into cleaning and cooking for others.

As a young wife and mother myself, however, I wished I had paid more attention to the logistics of her preparations.  I love having people fill my home, and truly wanted to offer the same haven my mother provided.

Enter Charlotte.  She's a bit younger than my own mother (in case you read this, Charlotte,  you are most definitely NOT old enough to be my mom!), but she possesses the same gift for making people feel welcome that my mother has.  She would get up early in the morning, before going to work, and would bake some special treat for her office mates or for the potluck she'd be attending that night.  Charlotte always had some special yumminess ready and waiting for surprise drop-in guests as well.  Her home was consistently tidy, but not spotless, and she always made time to talk to you, even if it was in the midst of busyness.  She'd just scurry around the kitchen while you sat and enjoyed her hospitality.  Somehow, I never felt like I was imposing.  

I learned so much from Charlotte, not because she did anything different from my own mother, but because I cared to learn it.  As I soaked up all that Charlotte unknowingly taught me, I grew in my own ability to serve through hospitality, and I learned to absolutely adore the effort that goes into maintaining a welcome safe-haven for life-weary friends and strangers (also known as soon-to-be-friends).  There is very little that makes me happier than baking a batch of cookies or vacuuming a rug and fluffing pillows in preparation for potential drop-in friends.  My door is always open, and this is in no small part thanks to my God-mothers like Charlotte Kirk, Mary-Lou Money, Fran Miller, Dorothy Hake, Betty DeHaas...and so many more...hundreds, in fact, just like the promise says.

It is an honor to now be in the season in which I find myself.  I have become a spiritual mother, and next week I will add a new daughter to my family.  Thanks to my own mother and all those mothers God has given me, I am excited to be that older woman who can take the younger under her wing.  

Living in a State of Yes

Right now I am right where I'm supposed to be.  I have no doubts that God put us in ISCA house.  To move here, we had to make a financial decision.  I went on and on ad nauseam about this decision in previous blog posts.  To make is short and sweet, we were willing to give up everything in order to be financially ready to say "YES" to anything God might have for us.

Another topic I whine about eternally is having to give up certain foods: gluten, sugar, eggs.  What never occurred to me until this week is that there is no difference between my reasons for giving up my dream home and giving up those foods.  I thought they were very different, but like everything else on this spinning rock, its ALL about God.

Every so often, when i take a minute to actually listen during prayer instead of just running my trap, God says something to me.  Last week, as I was so exasperated about taking metformin and all the less than pleasant side-effects that go with it, I asked Him, "Dad...why can't I have what I want?"  I didn't have anything else to say about that, so I just sat quietly.  The answer that was given to me made so much sense, but was so difficult to hear nonetheless.  "Why was it so easy for you to give up material things, but so impossible for you to give up food?  What if I give you a path to take, but you can't because your health won't allow it?  Either you live in a state of YES, or you don't."

I don't know what God has in store for us.  I don't know if we'll stay here with ISCA forever or if He'll one day lead us in another direction.  All I know for sure is that I want to say YES to anything He brings our way.  If that means eating less sugar, avoiding gluten, being careful with eggs, and getting off my butt to burn a few calories, so be it.  He IS worth it.  Here I am, Lord, send me!

IKEA Bins in the Shire

Back when my kiddos were wee little critters we had a bit of a toy explosion issue.  I had enough sense to realize these little people couldn't tidy a room up to "mom standards,"  but I did want to be able to see the floor from time to time.  On a trip to IKEA one Saturday afternoon, I made a wonderful discovery...the Trofast toy storage system.

During those early childhood years, my only requirement was, "All toys must be in a bin before bedtime."  (Sometimes they even accomplished this!)  As they got older, and one of my children developed a deep love for all things organized, the bins were labeled and each type of toy had its own little home.  (Sometimes they even accomplished THIS!)

When we started homeschooling, the bins took on a new purpose, and various subjects and experiments and crafts had their own special place.

As the kids made their way into the public school system, the bins found their way into multiple rooms, and were used for jewelry, sports equipment, make up, accessories, secret hiding places for letters from girlfriends (shhhh, don't tell that I know).  

Now that the kids are grown up and moving into their own homes, I was tempted to send the bins with them.  However, I've grown so accustomed to their usefulness, that I just couldn't give them up quite yet.  They've taken on a new role in our humble abode:  Craft and Comfort Central.

Today I bought these ADORABLE shoes (don't worry there really is a bridge to help you cross this logic leap.)

But my feet look...well, lets just say I took a picture of my tootsies and decided there are just some things that don't need to be shared.

I walked over to my handy-dandy wall of crafts and comfort, and grabbed my foot repair bin. (ahhhh, there's the bridge...see, its not THAT random)

Add a little hot water to the bin, stir in the peppermint epsom salt, soak while I blog about my bins and feet and other strange-but-true facts, scrub like a mad woman with the pumice stone, and voila!  I  am no longer afraid of being mistaken for a Baggins!  (Consult a Lord of the Rings nerd if you need to know what that means.)

I'll never be a foot model, nor would I care to be one, and my cankles leave a bit to be desired, but thanks to my grown up IKEA bins, any time I want a little foot pampering, all I have to do is grab the bin and soak my way to peace and prettiness.

Oh...and because no blog is complete without the requisite Bible reference:

Its rather ironic that my Bible reading today was Romans 10.

Romans 10:14-15

The Voice (VOICE)

Faith is not something we do. It is a response to what God has done already on our behalf, the response of a spirit restless in a fragmented world.

14 How can people invoke His name when they do not believe? How can they believe in Him when they have not heard? How can they hear if there is no one proclaiming Him? 15 How can some give voice to the truth if they are not sent by God? As Isaiah said, “Ah, how beautiful the feet of those who declare the good news of victory, of peace and liberation.

Logs, Boats and Helicopters

Once upon a time...

There was a man who lived beside a river.  One dark afternoon the rains began, and as the next morning rolled around, the river began to creep closer and closer to his house.  By the time the sun was setting again, the waters were on his porch.  He began to pray, "God, please save me from this flood."  All through the night the waters rose, and by the next sunrise, the man was on his roof.  He pleaded with God, "Father, oh please, I know you are all powerful.  I know you will save me from this flood!"

A little while later another man, sitting on a large log, floated close to the house, and he called up, "HEY!  This log can hold two.  Climb down and lets float to safety."  The first gentleman looked a the precarious log and called back, "Thanks, but God is going to save me!"  So off the log went.

The waters rose a little higher, and a guy in a row boat came along.  "Hey!" the guy called out, "Climb down and get in my boat.  We can row to safety together."  The man on the roof thought about how hard it would be to row that boat through the debris filled flood waters and called back, "Thanks, but I prayed, and I know God is going to save me."  And the waters continued to rise.  The man was a little scared, but he had faith.

So when the helicopter pilot spotted him and hovered over his house, shouting through the megaphone, "Sir, we're going to lower this rope.  Grab hold and we'll carry you to safety,"  the man on the roof bravely called back, "My God is all powerful, he calmed the storm and walked on water.  I believe that He alone will save me!"  And the waters rose higher still.

Finally, as the man clung desperately to the very top of his chimney and felt his grip becoming looser and looser, he cried out one last time, "Oh God.  You alone are the creator of the river and the rain!  I prayed to you and with all my heart I believed you would save me.  Why have you forsaken me?!"  And God called back, "I sent you a log, a boat and a helicopter....what more do you want?!"

In June of 2012 we made the decision to put our house on the market and prepare to move into a campus ministry house for international students.  We prayed, "Oh God, we know you will sell our house."  In August 2012, we took a step of faith and moved out of our beautiful home and into ISCA house.  We prayed, "Oh God, you have clearly worked in all of our real estate dealings.  We know you will sell our house."

In January 2013 we looked at our dwindling savings account and we decided to contact a property management company to lease our house.  We prayed, "Oh God, you must not want us to sell the house, so we'll get someone else to help us."  Ten days later, the company cancelled our contract because we wouldn't pay for the incredibly expensive insurance they required.  We were angry and hurt, but we prayed, "Okay God, you obviously want us to be patient so you can sell the house without a realtor and save us some money," so we listed For-Sale-By-Owner.

In mid February we were contacted by another ministry interested in trading ISCA house for our house.  We prayed, "Thank you God!  We knew you would sell our house!  We have strength to hold on a little longer."

 In March we were contacted by someone interested in leasing the house, but we said, "Thanks, but God is going to sell our house."  In May a couple looked at the house and then offered to lease it.  We of course replied, "Thanks, but our God is all powerful, and he wants to free us from this house."

On June 3 the ministry said, "Sorry...we can't trade houses.  The numbers just don't work."  We prayed, "Father, you created all things and you own the camels on a thousand hills.  You can save us from drowning under the weight of this mortgage."

On Wednesday, June 5, I received a phone call from a man interested in our house.  "I was given your number by (the property management company that made us so mad in January).  We have rented from them for years, but the house is no longer structurally sound, and we have to move out.  They thought you might be willing to lease to us long term."  And we prayed, "Thank you, God, for the helicopter!!!!!"

As is usually the case, I had a plan.  I expected God to do what I wanted him to do.  I was ready to say, "Well done, good and faithful God!" as he fulfilled my expectations.

He had other plans.  Plans that I don't think I fully understand.  Plans that I know are bigger than what I see on the surface.  Plans that bring Him glory and will fill me with awe and wonder.  As I hang onto the rope and the helicopter lifts me away from the stress of the tens of thousands of dollars we've paid for that house to sit empty, I am so very thankful for his continued faithfulness.  I am excited about what the future holds.  I'm enjoying the view from God's helicopter : )

I'm Married to a Grown Up

Today is a big day.  Today a very important person hits the half-a-century point in his existence.  My devastatingly handsome husband is the Big 5-0.

I could sit here and type the usual, "How did we get here so fast?" cliches.  The truth is, the Bible makes it abundantly clear just how short our puny, little lives are. 

Our days on earth are like grass; like wildflowers, we bloom and die. Ps 103:15

How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog--it's here a little while, then it's gone. James 4:14

How frail is humanity! How short is life, how full of trouble!  Job 14:1

Remember how short my life is, how empty and futile this human existence!  Ps 89:47

It is no surprise that we blink and suddenly a saggy stranger is staring back at us in the mirror.  (What a happy, cheerful birthday post!  You can practically hear the zippity-doo-da playing in the background!)  

However, let me tell you what I see when I look at the man who has occupied my heart for 24 of his 50 years.  

When we met, he had a 5, 10, 15 year plan.  He knew how much money he wanted to make by specific ages.  Today, he has a plan for right now..."Love Jesus, Love others."  

Twenty four years ago he had a check list for what he needed to do to be a good Christian.  Today he lives in a constant state of "yes" to Jesus and lets Christ dictate what that looks like.  

Way back in the day, his bucket list included many material things and financial dreams.  Today, he is blessed to be a blessing and no longer wants to spend his retirement managing his blessings but wants to serve his God and to help take Jesus' glory to the nations.

My husband is a grown up Global Christian, and I have been incredibly privileged to be along for the ride.  So when I read those scary verses about how fleeting our brief time on this planet is, I am so, so, SO happy to know that my True Love is truly living his life to the fullest.  

But now that you’ve found you don’t have to listen to sin tell you what to do, and have discovered the delight of listening to God telling you, what a surprise! A whole, healed, put-together life right now, with more and more of life on the way! Work hard for sin your whole life and your pension is death. But God’s gift is real life, eternal life, delivered by Jesus, our Master.  Romans 6:22-23

I LOVE YOU!!!!

Trusting the Engineer

A few months ago we were approached by another ministry that offered to purchase our house so that we could be free to purchase the ISCA house.  To be sure, Rick and I had firmly decided we never wanted to own another home.  We planned to rent for the rest of our earthly existence so as to be able to drop everything and say "yes" to God, regardless of where or when He called.  However, when the other ministry made this offer, we prayed and talked, and were fairly certain this was an answer to our prayers.

Curve Ball Alert...

After appraisals and discussions and negotiations and other such real estate stuff, the other ministry decided they just couldn't make the numbers work and the offer was taken off the table.  It happens.

And yet...here we are, left asking the question, "Does God want us to buy ISCA house?  Does He want us to be all in with International Student Ministry?"  We can't deny what we truly believe He was saying at the time we decided to walk down this road.

At this point, we've dropped the price on our house in an effort to sell it on our own.  (If you know anyone looking in the Fayetteville, AR area, please point them my way!)  It is still our goal to buy ISCA house.  It is still our desire to be a part of sharing Christ and discipling global students on the UofA campus.

Everything in me wants to "do" something to fix this "problem."  I want to hire someone, buy something, call somebody, promote, work, accomplish...  I want to fix it and make everything comfortable for us.

But that is not what God wants.  He wants me to trust Him.  So, I will be still and cling to this verse, knowing that He wants us to be part of taking His name to every nation and exalting Him in all the earth...and that HE alone is God:

Psalm 46:10 - He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
    I will be exalted among the nations,
    I will be exalted in the earth.”
I saw this picture on Facebook today.  It was very timely and appropriate as my dear hubby works for the local railroad.  I think I need to plaster this on a wall (or my forehead!) to remind me that God is in control, even when I'm in a tunnel and I can't see a darned thing!  Be still....

Go South Young Woman

This has been an insane couple of weeks!  It started with us putting four girls on airplanes that took them back to their home countries.  I was quite surprised by how hard that hit me.

Then, all my kids worked in the yard and cooked me a delish meal on Mother's Day.  This was followed by my birthday the next day, including my very last high school booster club meeting.

Next came my son's big proposal to his girlfriend.  Yep, he put a ring on it!  So exciting!!!!

Not to be outdone, our youngest child then graduated from high school, along with our other son's girlfriend.

Our final daughter felt left out, so she decided to turn 21 in the midst of this crazy week.

And finally, our youngest and I got on an airplane to Honduras.

Which brings me to the subject of this blog: leaving your baby in a scary place.

Did you know that Honduras has one of the highest murder rates in the world?  Well, I know it, but I wish I didn't.  Apparently the drug wars  have worked...most of the drug traffic has been rerouted through Honduras now, and along with it the crime and greed.  Yay.

I've been through sending my son to Iraq with the Army.  I've been through sending my son to the red light district of Thailand.  Those were scary as well, to be sure.  You'd think I'd be used to this by now.  There's just something different about sending your youngest baby away that's a little, well, terrifying.

God is good, though.  At this point in my life, my greatest goal is to live in such a way that I hold nothing back from my Father...even my children.  Our baby is in Honduras to serve in the name of Christ and to learn as much about Him through the Honduran people as she possibly can.  I've learned that the safest place to be is smack dab in the middle of His will, so I know she will be okay.

It is my prayer that her comfort zone will be busted wide open; that she will have nowhere to turn but His arms and His Word.  I suppose its kinda crazy to want your child to be uncomfortable, but since when has the Christian life made sense?

This week I read a book by Francis Chan, "Crazy Love."  One of my favorite sentences in this work went like this, "Something is wrong when our lives make sense to unbelievers."  Amen.  I pray that my life, and the lives of my children, make absolutely no sense whatsoever!  I pray they are a testimony to trust in a loving Father who alone is worthy of our everything!

So...here's the song stuck in my head now.  Imagine a room filled with Honduran youth and American adults all jumping up and down screaming this song to Jesus...the Holy Spirit is on fire in that ministry center on Sunday evenings!!!!  (And the girl, Dana, reminds me so much of our sweet Ana!!!)