Called

There are days when I wonder if I'm really a blonde.  This is one of those days.  I had an honest-to-goodness, forehead-slapping, V-8 moment, which, given that I've been suffering with a month-long, intense headache was not smart.  I have never claimed to be the brightest crayon in the box.

In Christian circles, we love to use the term "called."  Do you feel "called" to the ministry or the mission field.  Where do you feel "called?"  

What the HECK does that MEAN?????  And does it make me a bad Christian that I don't feel called unless my ring-tone is going off?  

Well, today I read a status update from a famous female author and speaker (whose name rhymes with Choice Buyer).  "God has got you strategically placed somewhere. Stop being so itchy to get away from where you're at and find out if maybe God's got you there for a purpose."  At first I thought, "Of course!  God has us at ISCA.  I need to be happy here at ISCA." (Which I am.)  Easy Peasy!

As the day progressed, however, I have begun to wonder if perhaps the Holy Spirit is whispering something quite different in my heart.  

You see, I've had a severe headache for a little over a month now.  Today I had a lumbar puncture.  I was very scared.  I hate needles, and just the idea of someone sticking one in my back makes me queazy. As I was pscyhing myself up to go through the spinal tap, I listened to "Oceans" by HillsongUnited.  The chorus jumped out at me:

Spirit lead me where my faith is without borders

Let me walk upon the waters

Wherever you would call me

Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander

And my faith will be made stronger

In the presence of my Savior

The test didn't go quite as well as I had hoped.  They found that my spinal fluid pressure was elevated.  I tried so hard to resist the urge to Google what that could mean, but you know what they say about curiosity and cats...

As I listened to that song again this evening, I had the sudden realization that maybe "calls" aren't always to a place or a job.  Maybe we can be called to suffer.  What if our role in His kingdom is to "praise Him in the storm."  Maybe I'm in a "Yea though I walk through the valley" season of life.

If that's the case (and I don't really know yet)....

How will I respond?

Will I be itchy to get away from here?

Will I live for His purpose?

What will people say about my God by my response?

Will I live up to His call?

Can I truly believe the song when I sing it?