We have taught all of our children since they were old enough to understand what it means to stay pure for their future spouse and for God. When they were little, my husband and I would only kiss their cheeks, so they could "save their lips for their husband or wife." We took this seriously, and we wanted our children to as well.
Did we do this because we were pure and holy? Not at all. I mean...I had a kid before I got married, and he was definitely not immaculately conceived. No, we taught our children to remain sexually pure because we hoped they could avoid some of the heartache we experienced and the guilt associated with this particular sin.
However...
I do not think it was an accident that God the Father, when putting together the bloodline and family for His son, Jesus, chose Abraham, David, and Rahab.
Abraham - basically prostituted his wife, not once but twice. He did nothing when kings took his wife into their harems, because Abraham had lied about her being his sister. She was only saved from adultery because GOD saved her...not her husband. I'd call that a sexual sin on Abraham's part.
David - Stalked another man's wife, took her, got her pregnant, then had the husband killed. Serious sexual sin.
Rahab - an out and out hooker, prostitute, whore.
When Jesus was conceived, what did everyone think of Mary? Joseph was so ashamed! But God chose not to make a grand announcement to their entire village in order to clear Mary and Joseph's good name. No, He only told the two of them. They bore the brunt of the gossip and shame mongers.
When Jesus was on earth, what did He do when he came across public sexual sinners? One of them He rescued from death, wrote in the sand and humbled those attempting to humiliate her. On another occasion, He sat down beside her, shared eternal life giving water with her, and sent her on her way as a missionary to share the Good News with everyone she knew. Yet another woman of ill-repute was allowed to annoint Him in front of the high and mighty, and He defended her against even the thoughts of those hypocrites.
Do I want my children to remain pure and to avoid the pain and guilt that often comes with giving away parts of your body and spirit? Of course I do. I would LOVE for them to never experience one single twinge of heartache when they are with their future spouse or if they never marry. Do I believe that our Christian purity culture is adding to the shame we feel if we make a mistake? Absolutely, I do. Do I think God loves the broken hallelujah of a redeemed sinner just as much (if not more) than the puffed up chest of a holier-than-thou purity legalist. You betcha! There are no degrees of sin, and sexual sin has been forgiven by the Father just as much as that sin of pride displayed by many of those who "just said no."
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