This morning a friend in full-time ministry posted that they found out they had lost a monthly financial supporter, and they have started the day with a pit in their stomach. Boy! Can I relate to that feeling.
Rick and I entered this life with ISCA both accepting that we may be asked to sacrifice our credit and our finances for this decision of obedience. We understood that was a possibility and chose to obey what we believed God was asking us to do. In the back of my mind, though, I think I really believed that if we obeyed, God would "bless" us the way I wanted to be blessed: Our house would sell quickly and for a good price, and He certainly wouldn't ask us to face foreclosure or bankruptcy. I mean, come on! We're doing something good here.
Please do not misunderstand me. Even though we are watching our savings dwindle away as we routinely go knock down cobwebs in our empty house, waiting for those calls from the Realtor that someone....anyone...wants to look at our property, we do not for one second regret our decision to move into ISCA house. It is not easy. There are stressful times. There are "issues" living with women from different cultures trying to coexist peacefully while studying for difficult classes. However, we do still fully believe that this is where God wants us to be, and we are very much at peace with the decision. BUT...
The MONEY!!!!
Sometimes I really hate money. Its such a source of stress, worry, anger, resentment....but mostly, FEAR. Which brings me to the second facebook post that turned my morning around.
In response to my friend's post about losing a supporter, another friend responded with a lovely encouragement including one very simple phrase: "Fear does not come from God."
Oh, AMEN SISTER!
This fear that money instills in me is absolutely, 100%, completely and totally NOT from my Father. He is the owner of the camels on a thousand hills. He created the universe and all that is in it. He has never, ever, ever, ever failed us in any way...financially, spiritually, intellectually, emotionally. He has always provided every single need.
No. This fear has another source, and I refuse to accept it anymore. I choose today to remember who my Father is, and to face the uncertainty of our financial future as it truly is...an opportunity to watch my God bless me in ways that I simply never could have imagined. I have faith, not fear, that He will surprise me with His goodness. I have hope, not fear, that His grace is sufficient.
Phil 4 (all of it) is pretty awesome stuff. But here's a little glimpse of where my heart and head are today:
4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
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