My husband has a good job with a nice salary, and until April of this year, I brought in some income, too. Christmases in the past involved many presents. We've never been the type of parents to buy our children the latest/greatest items, but we were definitely generous. We also made lots of cookies and treats for as many friends as we could think of. Christmas involved a LOT of money and wrapping paper.
This year it didn't. This year, I'm not working and we are paying for a mortgage in a house where we don't live. This year I spent many, many hours hiding in our little space knitting and sewing frantically so I could have gifts to give our Hall children and our ISCA daughters.
I was a bit embarrassed to be able to give so little compared to the past. We told our children we wanted nothing but their help with painting our house (neutral colors so it will rent) for Christmas. It was a slim Christmas under the tree and in the stockings.
Despite being asked not to give us anything, my oldest daughter had asked me to set aside the day after Christmas to spend with her. She wanted to give me a Christmas gift that required me to be with her. I love to be surprised, so I asked her not to tell me what it was. Many ideas went through my head; massage, manicure, tattoo....(HA)
When she announced at breakfast yesterday that she was taking me on an "update Mom's look" shopping day, I was excited, but knew that I couldn't afford to buy anything. Still, it was a wonderful idea, and I was so excited to spend the day with her. I got up to pay for breakfast, and she insisted on paying. How sweet!
We drove up to the mall that houses my favorite (over-priced) store. It was going to be so fun letting her pick things out for me to try. Once the house rents, I could hopefully come back and find them again. We narrowed things down to one item, and I prepared to leave the store. Then SHE bought the item. WHAT? Wait one minute. The shopping trip thing is my gift to the girls, not the other way around.
At first I was completely humiliated. Had it really come to this. My full-time student daughter makes more than we do? Is my wardrobe so pitiful that she feels she has to spend her hard earned money to save herself from the embarrassment of being seen with me?
Then I swallowed my pride and looked at her face. She was beaming. She truly just wanted to bless me with a shirt...and another shirt...and two pairs of jeans...and breakfast and lunch. Even though it was very difficult to do, I let her spoil me for the day. The truth is, spending the day with her was the best gift, but I do like the clothes a lot, too.
This isn't a perfect analogy, but it made me think about my relationship with God a little bit. I want to be able to point to things in my life and say, "I did this for you, God." That way, I can feel like I earned His blessings. I don't have to recognize that my gifts to Him don't even add up to the value of some cheap candy in a Christmas stocking.
The truth is, I have nothing to give Him, but He showers me with His lavish grace every moment of every day. My attitude needs to be the same as it was at the end of the day with my daughter. The best part is spending time with my Heavenly Father, but the blessings are nice, too.
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