Losing my Scales

Many years ago, I read the Chronicles of Narnia.  I can still remember reading the Voyage of the Dawn Treader and being struck by the image of Aslan ripping the scales off of Eustace who had become a dragon.  The Hollywood adaptation of this book didn't even come close to the mental picture I've had for a couple of decades.  In my mind, there is blood and tearing and pain, but it is all necessary to uncover the true person trapped within the scales.  (You really should read this book to get a clear picture in your own mind.)

2012 has been a year of experiencing God freeing me from the scales I so willingly put on, and 2013 is beginning very much the same.  Yesterday we came to the realization that I would either need to find a job, or we would not be able to pay our monthly bills.  The weight of this is terrible.  Our entire lives we have been taught to believe that keeping your word, honoring a contract, and following through on your commitments is a moral and ethical law that must be upheld to be a truly Godly person.  In a way, to an American Believer, good credit is the result of good Christian discipline.  It is definitely a cultural value that we have held since childhood.

Yesterday we came face to face with the question, "Can we obey God and have bad credit?"  The question seems ridiculous when I see it on this screen, but the essence of my weeping yesterday was definitely that very question.  

I know there are a lot of Christians who will judge me harshly for feeling this way, but I believe, at this point in my life, that God wants us to surrender our excellent credit to Him.  He wants us to choose to put His kingdom ahead of our comfort and status.  He wants us to trust that He will provide all we need.  I also believe that He does not love us any less if we can't pay our bills because we are attempting to obey His call.

And I promise you...this feels very much like the tearing and bleeding and pain of my scales being torn from my flesh.

Am I encouraging people to walk away from their commitments and turn their backs on their responsibilities?  Absolutely not.  This is where we are at this point in our personal journey with Christ.  I would, however, say to all of the young people who could possibly be reading this blog...listen to the words of the song below.  Read the Bible.  See God's heart for the nations.  Take the class, "Perspectives on the World Christian Movement," and DON'T WASTE A SINGLE MOMENT OF YOUR LIVES PURSUING THE AMERICAN DREAM THAT WILL LEAVE YOU HOLLOW AND EMPTY AND COVERED WITH SCALES!!!!!!  Please....don't let your blessings manage you....you are blessed to BE a blessing.

And I've lost who I am, and I can't understand. 
Why my heart is so broken, rejecting your love, 

without, love gone wrong, lifeless words carry on. 
But I know, all I know, is that the end's beginning. 
Who I am from the start, take me home to my heart. 
Let me go and I will run, I will not be silent. 

All this time spent in vain, wasted years, wasted gain. 
All is lost, hope remains, and this war's not over. 
There's a light, there's the sun, taking all shattered ones. 
To the place we belong, and his love will conquer all.