Last week I went for a very ambitious hike. In retrospect, it was beyond me. Being super stubborn with the very hardest of heads, I did it, though. Truthfully, I am pretty stinkin' proud of my accomplishment, and am very grateful to my friend for encouraging me to hike 10 miles over the rivers and through the woods, and over the mountains and under the fallen trees, and through the boulders and under the stars...then reversing the 10 mile trek the next day. Even though I injured my knee and have hobbled for a few days, it was still a great adventure, and I can't wait to do it again...well, maybe a slightly more moderate version at least!
Since I started this health journey I've been learning so much about myself. A lot of these lessons are painful...much like my class on recognizing my hiking limitations...ha! There are times when I'd just as soon pack up my school books and go home, back to the comfort of the familiar, listening to the lies I've told myself for years, and accepting that I'm never going to change...basically, surrendering to the enemy.
Picking up a 30 lb. pack filled with life's basic necessities was a very tangible reminder of two vitally important realities, and one of the reasons I want to keep strapping that pack on and trekking through the woods is to be sure I won't forget them.
The first object lesson from that pack is quite physical. Since beginning my effort to get on with living or get on with dying, I have lost @ 30 lbs. Strapping on that back pack reminded me of the extra weight I carried around on a daily basis for many years. Those extra 30 lbs. suddenly felt like a boulder on my shoulders. I adjusted the weight, shifted my straps, tightened and loosened buckles and zippers trying to make the extra burden feel less cumbersome, but my knees knew the difference regardless of any relief my shoulders or back experienced.
It would be so easy to go back to my old way of eating and sitting. I love food. It tastes good. It feels good. Everything about it is warm and fuzzy...everything except the extra poundage. I have a choice about picking up that back pack, and I have a choice about picking up that donut, muffin, cookie, ice cream... My joints and organs, tendons and ligaments are worth the effort it takes to only pick up those thirty pounds when I'm heading down the trail to see more of God's beautiful creation.
But this journey isn't just about making my butt smaller or my muscles firmer. Its about my overall health...physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. Each week I not only exercise and watch what I eat, I also see a counselor, spend time in God's Word, and am now part of a support group for women who are carrying around the same "weight" I have been all these years.
Going through my gear after that hike, trying to figure out what is absolutely necessary and what I could get rid of, was such a vivid reminder of what I'm doing with my emotional and spiritual baggage as well. Some of what I carry with me is, in fact, necessary, but thanks to Jesus, it isn't heavy. If it wasn't for these earthly burdens, I wouldn't be the person I am today. I wouldn't know how to empathize with other hurting souls. I would be able to look the other way and....well, I just wouldn't care. But that yoke is easy, and that burden is light.
I choose to keep those items, the ones I need to be the person Jesus created me to be. The rest, I'm learning to take out and to leave them on the side of the trail. I suppose at any point, I can turn around and pick them back up, stuff them into my pack and trudge through life with the weight of the world on my back.
I don't want to do that. Its time to get on with living.
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